One thing I hear from singles over and over again is dating sucks. It sucks if you’re a woman because there are no “good” men. It sucks if you’re a man because women never respond. It sucks because you have expectations that the other person doesn’t live up to. It sucks because people do bizarre, off the wall things. It sucks because it’s expensive. It sucks because it takes so much time. It sucks because you burn a lot of emotional energy for nothing. Dating just sucks.

You tell the world how much dating sucks and everything wrong with it, and then wonder why it keeps happening to you. The scientist in me says it’s confirmation bias; you only see what you want to see. The energetic in me says you are getting back the energy you put out. The coach in me says you need to stop dating.

Dating should be fun and enjoyable. If you aren’t having fun then you need to stop, take a break, reset and recover. If you don’t, you will continue to build resentment, distrust, and disappointment. When the right person comes along, they aren’t going to want to be around your negative attitude. Instead, they will simply move on to the next person, someone also excited and happy.

This may be shocking, but the opposite sex isn’t out to get you. In fact, they want to be with you. They want to do everything right. They want to love and support you. They also want to find the right person. They have the same dreams and ambitions about a partner as you do. And most of all, they’ve been through the same crazy dating world as you.

If you find yourself angry about dating because women do this or men do that. Stop, take a break, breath, collect yourself, and realize we’ve all been there, and we all want something better. Be the change you want to see in others, and you might be surprised what you get back.