Ep. 130 – Dr. Avrum Weiss
AWESOME BLURB FROM ABBY.
Full Transcript |
[00:00:00] Welcome back to the Ghosted Podcast. I was just saying that I’ve been looking forward to recording this episode because I think it’s gonna be a really interesting one. I think you guys might be believing in soulmates by the end of this if you aren’t already or at least we’re hopefully gonna give you a little bit of hope that you can get into a successful relationship.
Fair minimum. I hope that’s your takeaway. So you need to stay tuned because I have two amazing guests with me here, mark and Lya, the Soulmate coaches, and with them you will discover the secrets to having the greatest love and intimacy ever, which we really need to share those details. But thank you both for being here.
Thank you. We’re so glad to be with you. Thanks for having us. S Yeah, of course. So I think let’s give people a little bit of background on how you two, you know, became the soulmate coaches, just so people you know, understand where you’re coming from and how you work with people. [00:01:00] To help them, hopefully find their person well.
We met at a workshop about relationships. Love and relationships. Love and relationships cuz love and relationships are very important to us and we wanted to know how to do them well. Up to that point, we had not done very well in relationship. I am. At the time of meaning Mark, I had three divorces in my belts and they were very challenging.
And Mark had a marriage one previous marriage. Yeah. Yeah. And so we were both really wanting to master relationships and we went after that. When we met, we found out that both of us had six common modalities that we had been trained in, which gave us a wonderful tool built of transformation and a common language that we could work through [00:02:00] challenges.
Cuz we definitely did have some challenges. We’d get triggered, but we will partner up together and support each other to clear whatever triggers that we have. And we decided that because we have such a beautiful relationship and we have never even seen other examples of other couples who had the level of relationship that we have.
So we thought that this would be quite a gift to offer the world. People, whether you’re in relationship or not, these are tools that will help you to be ready to be in a soulmate level relationship. And we don’t mean that you have to be soulmates. If you don’t believe in soulmates, it’s not a problem.
We’re talking about a level of love. Fits very deep, connected, intimate, juicy, and y. I love it. Yeah. Cause I think that as [00:03:00] people get good, introduc, that was great, honey. I’m not about that.
Right. Cause I think some people get hung up on the idea of a soulmate and then they’re so focused on, there’s only one person out there for me that then. You know, how do you even find anyone who’s a good fit for you? Do you guys kind of see that with some of the people you, you work with, that they think there’s one person out there for them?
Yeah. Yeah. As far as actual soulmates, we’ve done a lot of spiritual studying, mm-hmm. And one of the, probably the best books I’ve ever read in my life. We’re two books by Dr. Newton journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls, where Lily talks about souls and soulmates and incarnation and what we’re doing here and how we plan out a lot of what happens.
And one of the things he says, and. Is that [00:04:00] we may have what he, you’d call a primary soulmate, but that doesn’t mean we necessarily incarnate every lifetime with that soulmate. And some of us may not have primary soulmates and we may choose to incarnate with. Other people in our soul group, so we don’t get hung up on the technicalities of, is this my soulmate or not?
What it’s really about for us, as Linta already shared, is we want people to get the tools and the practice to create a soulmate level relationship, whether or not. If they’re actually with their soulmate. Mm-hmm. In other words, everyone who’s watching this, you can have this and I don’t even care. That’s your actual soulmate, what we can share with you.
Yeah. You’ll have that level relationship, that level of love, of honoring, of understanding, of [00:05:00] being heard and seen and treasured. Whether or not they’re actually your soulmate, it doesn’t even matter almost. And you may not have any examples. Like Mark and I, we didn’t have any examples of this that we could draw upon.
So we had to learn it, and that’s what we did. We went to workshops and we, we learned about communication, how to be authentic and transparent, how to share everything. And be totally seen and heard and loved and embraced for who we are as we are. Not somebody that thinks, well, you got a lot of work to do.
You’re a project, and maybe someday you’re after you fix yourself. After you fix yourself, or after I fix you, which is even worse, right? Or in my case, I thought. I could fix the guys that I was with. I thought that they’ll get clean and sober once we’re together. Well, that didn’t happen, [00:06:00] and I wouldn’t recommend that you get into relationship with somebody that you.
Are like, oh, they have such, they have such potential, potential. You know? It’s like, no. Mm-hmm. Do the work yourself and meet somebody who’s also willing to do the work. If you’re willing to do the work together, then. Absolutely. That’s what I wanted. I said I have to have a man who is willing to look at his own stuff, do his own work, and won’t point the finger and blame me when something comes up in my internal emotional world.
Right? So he does. He owns his. Stuff. Yeah. And we work through it. And if you have somebody who’s willing, that’s all you need is the willingness. Yeah. You don’t have to, A lot of singles have this story that they’re too damaged. They have to do a bunch of internal work, they have to [00:07:00] heal themself, and then they’ll get in relationship.
And we can promise you if you get in relationship and you have that commitment. That Lanetta just shared, you are going to grow and heal a hundred times faster than if you’re doing it on your own because the relationship is gonna trigger the snot outta you, and that’s the huge opportunity for growth.
And if you have the right tools. And the right coaching, you can just knock through that stuff. No time flat. Mm-hmm. And the biggest rea, and the biggest reason Abby, that we’re doing this is we’re now in our fifties and sixties and we spent decades, you know, trying out relationships. Failing, if you wanna call it that.
We actually don’t, but most people would. And also just, you know, going to workshops and stealth study and meditating therapy. I mean, decades and decades we spent. Yeah. And we [00:08:00] don’t want the people listening to this to wait as long to manifest a soulmate level relationship as we did. Mm-hmm. I mean some, we, we work with 20 and 30 year olds, and some of them we helped get in that level relationship already, you know?
Mm-hmm. And they’re 30 or 40 years ahead of us. It’s like, thank God. Why waste a life? And look, if you’re in your fifties or sixties or seventies, you can still have it. Yeah. But if you’re young, right. Go for it. Go for it now. And many of those years I didn’t know there was help for couples. I didn’t know there was help for people, that it could be much easier that I could learn some some tools that would actually create the intimacy and end the fights and the arguing and.
You know, I know how painful that is to sit there and have your partner next to you in bed and feel lonely. That is the [00:09:00] loneliest feeling. And you don’t have to, you don’t have to do that. You know, we, we’ve worked with couples that sometimes they’ll break up as a result of working with us because they find out they’re not a match.
And then shortly after that, actually find somebody who is a, a beautiful match and they’ve gotten married, some of them. So yeah, we have a few couples. Yeah. Yeah. Who started working with us, realized they weren’t the best, and then, Yeah, separated and really did manifest amazing relationships. You don’t have to settle.
Don’t do a settle for relationship. You are a great catch. Look yourself in the mirror and say, I’m a great catch, and if it’s not this person, it’ll be somebody even better. That’s what Mark actually did. I actually did say that when a previous relationship before I met Linta was in. Was ending. Yep. Looked in the mirror.
[00:10:00] Hey, how that worked out. Yep, yep. And he’s, so I feel like I have a million questions coming to mind as you guys are telling me all of this. So first one I’m curious about, I know you work with, you know, couples and singles, you know, and you said, you know, some couples have realized they’re not a good fit for each other, you know, do you think if couples are willing to work on things that.
Any relationship could be salvaged or is there a point where you’re like, I. Okay, we can’t even help you. Once again, it’s the willingness on On both parts. Yeah. If there’s a willingness, there is nothing that’s too devastating in a relationship that cannot be healed. If both parties are willing and I’m.
The work really is when I, when I say the work, don’t let that put you off. Okay? Yes, you are gonna put some time into really diving into this stuff, [00:11:00] but the freedom that you get on the other side is so liberating that now I don’t look at us as work. I look at it like, oh my gosh, an opportunity to clear something and I’m gonna be liberated and free from this.
Finally. So it’s worth doing it. It’s not drudgery, it’s excitement that, and you can have that excitement for doing that inner work. And it doesn’t matter how, how bad that relationship has gotten, right? Or what’s in your past. Both of us have some significant trauma in our past. We’ve worked with singles and couples who also have trauma.
Mm-hmm. That’s not a stop at all. Mm-hmm. And also how bad things have gotten. The relationship is not a stop as long as both parties are willing to say, yeah, let’s do some coaching together and see where we can end up. And I’ll tell you, [00:12:00] every single session we do, even a one hour session, the people end up feeling so much closer to each other at the end of one hour, no matter what the situation is.
Doesn’t matter, right? I think, you know, like you’re saying, it’s all about two. Just even holding that. Space for people where they maybe haven’t even had the opportunity to have these conversations or think about their relationship in a deeper way. So I appreciate you guys so much for doing that as I’m trying to matchmake couples and then you’re trying to help ’em, you know, be successful.
Linta, you mentioned something earlier about how you had a pattern of dating people or being in relationships where you wanted to fix someone, or you’re like, I see your potential and I feel like a lot of my listeners. Could resonate with that a lot, where they think, oh, I wanna fix them. Or they tell me that they keep being in this pattern of dating people that maybe need fixing.
So, you know, can you share a little about your story with that? I think it could really help A [00:13:00] lot of listeners might resonate with that. Yes. So look at the pa. Look at when you were growing up, your parents or whoever raised you and what kind of relationships they were. Cuz that was your very first.
Your first introduction to relationships in life was if you had mom and dad, it was watching them and how they are in relationship. And when we get older, we think I’m gonna do so much better. I’m going to have a more beautiful, loving relationship than my parents did. But the attraction that you feel, you know, when people say, I have chemistry with this person, I’m attracted to this person.
Well, the attraction, where is that coming from? Because in my case, I was attracted to people that were very much like my mom. Or my dad, or a combination of [00:14:00] both of them and my desire to help them heal. And I saw that they had a beautiful heart and I was like, I know I can help them heal with my love. If I just love them enough and give enough to them, then they will clean up their lives and will have this fairytale relationship.
But the thing is, the attraction was to people that were unavailable very much like my mom and dad, and I also didn’t own, and this is very vulnerable for me to share. I was not available. So I was attracted to other people that were not available, but I also own, and it takes great courage to own. What you, you think that all these people you’re, you’re attracting are dysfunctional and alcoholic addicts or whatever their [00:15:00] habits are, addictions.
But where are you also that because that is you, you know, like attracts like, Birds of a feather flock together, well, more likely you have some un tendencies that you need to own. Also, not as a way of beating yourself up, but as a way of like, oh, I need to clear this up. And once you clear that up and heal it and you get, you’re totally in your heart.
And your heart is open and you don’t have any more armoring and you’re in your full joy, you’ll be attracted to different people. You won’t be attracted to people that are the, have the same patterns as your mom and dad now. I was not really attracted to Mark and I told him that, but there was something in my soul that was saying my higher self or whatever, was saying, this guy has all the qualities of what you’ve been [00:16:00] wanting.
So attraction has been heartbreaking. I’m not gonna go with attraction. And now I understand why, because attraction. Doesn’t mean it’s a healthy relationship for you. It could be. You’re trying to fix what you couldn’t with your mom and dad.
Yeah. It’s so interesting you say that cuz I have the biggest problem with people saying, oh, we have so much chemistry, so I am so there with you. Because I’m like, what does that even mean? How do you know? Like what is triggering that? So, we’re so on the same page here and I’m pretty sure I have a whole episode about it.
And chemistry is one of the way you make explosives, by the way, which can be a little destructive. Yeah.
You know, I feel like that is just the best way to put it. You know, do you want an explosive relationship? Maybe not. You know, [00:17:00] you go with that chemistry. Yeah, cuz this, this relationship is calm and peaceful. Whereas the other ones were very chaotic. But I didn’t realize that I was addicted to the chaos. I also, cuz I had been raised in it my whole life.
To me home was chaos. But being with this man who’s totally calm and peaceful and first time I looked into was eyes, I’m like, I, I feel total peace and every door inside of me opened up and I said, I get that this man could accept and, and fact embrace all of me, even the parts of me that I was not willing to embrace.
And that was at the time, foreign to me. It was like he was from Mars. I didn’t, I I had never met anyone like him, never even considered being with somebody like him 10 years ago. There’s no way I would choose to be with him. So, so what was that shift where you were [00:18:00] like, okay, I could be with someone different, like what happened there?
I, after I had had. Another devastating, heartbreaking ending to a relationship that I thought was ideal. We, he was, he was so spiritual and passionate and it ended with, Such Dev, like, I was just heartbroken. I couldn’t believe it was ending. It was just, didn’t make sense to me. And I just came to my knees and said, okay, I, I just don’t get what this love thing is.
I need help. I need somebody to show me. And that’s when these workshops came into my world. When, when I was going to tantra, I was. Also doing some Tantra courses, and she said, you should go to High Human Awareness Institute and they teach you about loving communications, intimacy, [00:19:00] transparency, vulnerability, how to have my yes and my no, and my boundaries, how to make requests.
I had no idea about all those beautiful tools that create. Intimacy in a relationship. And now once I went, I went to those courses, I was like, now I know what, what was missing from my past choices and relationships and having those tools opened the the door to mark being in my life. Amazing. And I’m so glad because you know, we wouldn’t all be here podcasting right now if you wouldn’t have done that.
So thank you. Yeah, that’s, yeah. So, you guys talk about there are these four steps to manifest this soulmate kind of love because I’m sure listeners are wondering, Okay. How can I have what Mark and Lenta have? So fill us in on the four steps. Sure. It’s actually three different things you do, but we, we put it [00:20:00] as four steps, but to really have the ultimate relationship or anything in life.
It’s like the things we teach. Yeah. We love doing relationships, but you can use the same things towards manifesting financial, abundance, greater health. It doesn’t even matter. But basically we all have hurts in our past. Some of us would call it trauma. That’s pretty heavy duty. But I mean, literally every human being on this planet has accumulated a bunch of hurt.
From things that happen going usually all the way back to childhood. And unless they’ve done a lot of inner work, they’re still carrying it. Mm-hmm. And they may not even be aware, like we’ve interviewed couples and they say, oh no, neither the vest says any trauma. You know? And in fact we just spoke to somebody a couple days ago and she said before he died, her dad.
Told [00:21:00] her he loved her for the first time in her life, right before he died. Wow. And she says, and, and she says, no, I didn’t have any trauma. Mm. So it’s like, yeah. Yeah. Right. That’s a bit of a challenge. Yeah. So fair. Yeah. So the first stage of what we do is clearing out everything from the past. All those hurts.
What we do, and we usually use relationships as a way to dig in. So we’ll typically deal with parent relationships. Maybe you know, a half dozen major relationships all the way up through your teen years. Where there was significant hurt, whatever it is, doesn’t even matter if you’d call it abuse or not.
And what we do is we use a soul perspective on it to take the edge off of it so that people have a sense on [00:22:00] why as a soul they may have wanted the challenges they had. And this is a whole topic we can go into. And I probably don’t wanna say more than that right now, unless you really wanna go there. And then there’s leave the people wanting more, I think.
Say again? We’ll leave the people wanting more. I think then’s fine. We can do another session on that. Yeah, that’s, that’s a big topic. In fact, I, I wrote a book, we’ve written two books. I wrote one book called Three Doors to the Soul. Exactly. About all that. Yeah. Okay. And So what we do is we help clear the emotional pain of the past, and you know, you’ve done that by the way, when you think of something that happened and instead of having that inside, You know, you’re either hurt, angry, whatever.
It’s like you can remember it, but there’s no more emotional edge when you can go through your past and you can recall the [00:23:00] incidents, but there’s no emotions attached. You know, you’re done with that level work. Yeah. And you may be doing that your whole life. You know, Lynette and I are still doing stuff like this.
Yeah. Even though we’ve done decades worth. Mm-hmm. So it’s not like it’s, you’re probably never this, and then you go to this and then you go to that. It’s like, no, you may be doing it all simultaneously. So there’s layers. We all have layers. There’s always layers. Yeah. Like Shrek says. Yes, so, so stage one is clearing all that past stuff out, and it’s also using it as a.
Tool. This is what most people don’t do. You know, we can recall previous relationships easily, like with our parents or with a romantic relationship, and we can easily say, here’s what I didn’t like about it, but what we do. Is we take it, we acknowledge all that didn’t likes, we clear the energy around them and then we use it to [00:24:00] make a list of what does that tell you about what you do want in your life going forward?
Forward. So we have people basically make their do want relationship list. From all the past stuff they didn’t like in all relationships, family and romantic. Mm-hmm. Right. I like that cuz usually we focus on, I just wanna avoid this. Yes. Rather than saying this is what I actually want it, this is gold. Cuz it, it’s actually telling you what you do want.
But most people aren’t used to thinking it’s just like you said, I don’t want that. So it’s, but you have to look at that and then say, So what does that mean that you do want, and and this is, we do a lot of coaching here cause a lot of people are challenged finding that. Yeah. So we get people to make that list of everything that they do want.
Mm-hmm. And that’s bringing them to stage two, the neutral point, if you will, where you can look back and [00:25:00] say, okay, I get it. I don’t want this. I do want that. Here I am. And I feel like people are also maybe a. Afraid to make that list of, this is what I do want. Cuz they think maybe they can’t have it.
Thank at least, least that’s what I noticed. A lots. That’s exactly where, where we coming to, right? Stage three is the manifestation stage. So that’s where you quote, call it in, manifest it, whoever languaging you want to use. And when you do that, just like you said Abby, the limiting beliefs are gonna start popcorning all over the place.
I can’t have it. All the good ones are gone. I’m too old. I’m too old. I’m too young. I’m too young. I’m too fat, I’m too thin. Whatever. Look at my track record. Yeah. Oh, track record. Yeah. All that stuff. So all the things that are in the way of manifesting it, we help clear those out. I feel like that is a tall task.
All of it’s a tall task. [00:26:00] Exactly. All of it. Exactly. All, all three stages. They all take some work. Mm-hmm. But it’s not magic. Mm-hmm. It, you know, the, that would be nice is clear. It works and we’re models for it. Mm-hmm. And we’re models for why you don’t wanna wait as long as we did. And trial and error your way through life and waste decades when you can have it.
Now, we, you know, often work with, singles and couples for about 12 weeks. That’s kind of like our standard. And within 12 weeks, man, people, you know, like we said, we’ve had people break up to keep doing their work with us and then find somebody before the 12 weeks is even up and it’s not like three or four.
Relationships, we’re seeing a consistent, pattern that they’re as, when they’re done working with us, they meet the one they wanna spend their life with after that time. So there’s something to the work that we’re doing [00:27:00] that we’re seeing those kinds of results. Yeah, we totally believe in it. We know it works.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that’s pretty, that is amazing. You know, I feel like if you’re listening to this, I’m sure people are like, okay, how can I get some of this in my life? So, can you guys, you know, fill listeners in on where they can connect with you? Maybe we can put links, obviously to books in the show notes and to everything you guys are about to share as well.
Yeah, sure. Yeah. Our basic website is the soulmate coaches. Com. Mm-hmm. And we’re also on social media. Everything is the soulmate coaches. And if you go to our website right at the top, there’s an opportunity to schedule a free 20 minute chat where. We can see if we’re matched for each other. Yeah, that’s the easiest way to get started.
We do have some free materials also, but you know, the best thing to do is just talk, say here, here’s where I’m at, [00:28:00] here’s the challenges I’m having, and how do you think you can help me and we’ll talk. Yeah. Awesome. Well, we will put all that info so people have it. I know time has flown by right now.
I’m like, how are we already almost at the end of the episode. But I always like to end with some parting words of wisdom. Obviously we have. Shared a lot of great wisdom already, but is there anything you’d like to share with single listeners? And maybe you can each share a little something, you know, to give people some positivity today?
Yes. Yeah. I wanna build on something Lynette already shared when she talked about Not compromising or sacrificing one. One of the things, one of the beliefs, not settling for, settling, compromising, any, any of those, right? We don’t believe in any of that. And most people who are single and pretty much everybody who’s probably listening has already had some previous relationships.[00:29:00]
They’re concerned that they won’t be able to be all of themselves if they get another relationship. You know, a lot of times they had to quash themselves down, make themselves smaller, not be all of that. And we want you to know you don’t have to compromise, settle none of that. You can be all of you and you can find a soulmate who will treasure every ounce of you, even if you’re different.
There’s some ways Lynette and I are very much alike and there’s some ways we’re very different. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And we both treasure both of those aspects. Even though sometimes it may grind our gears a little bit. Right, honey? Yes. Right. Because how boring would it be if you guys were just identical? Oh yeah, we all the same thing.
No, not by long shot. [00:30:00] Can I share my tip now? Yes, please. Okay, so those qualities that when you start writing down the things you do want in a partner, take on, look at, do you have those qualities instead of looking for a partner to fulfill you and to fill a void. That you don’t have within your life. Look at the top three things that you said.
You absolutely have to have the, the qualities that you want in them. If it’s, I want ’em to have a great sense of humor, do you have a great sense of humor? If, if it’s an adventure, I want somebody that, you know, takes me on wild adventures. Do you take yourself out on wild adventures, do some of those things that you’re wanting instead of looking to a partner to be the agent.
That’s gonna fill you up with fulfillment. Oh, well said. I really love that because I do get a lot of people, they will say, oh, I want someone who’s funny. I’m like, well, I’ve been [00:31:00] talking to you for the past hour and you haven’t made me laugh once, so, right. Oh, so yeah hopefully no one feels targeted by that, but it is true.
Yeah, a lot of people say that. So Mark and Linta, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and I hope that this episode has given some people hope that your person is out there and reach out to these two. If you’re not sure about that yet. Yes. Mm-hmm. Great. Thank you both so much. Thank you. This was really fun recording with you guys.
Thank you. It’s been really fun. Yes.